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WIP - Onna no Ronsou sketch by *Enkai:iconEnkai:

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©2009 *Enkai
:iconenkai:

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alternate title: tortured Beryl is tortured

I know I don't have critiques enabled, but any detailed comments/critiques on this would be highly appreciated. Specifically, I'm looking for critiques on the poses, expressions, and how the clothing is drawn. Particularly on Beryl. No comments on missing details, that will be added with the digital ink.

Drawn because I needed a break from all the f'ing roses. Unfortunately, it's myu, which means it's still going to be crazy time-consuming.

This image is inspired by the duet Pluto and Beryl have in a few of the Sailor Moon musicals. Basically, it's Beryl being all weepy about her lost love and how through betrayal it turned to hate with Pluto commiserating and trying to reach to the love that's still in her.

Ah almost forgot the stock links. Pose stock from :iconsenshistock: --
[link] - Beryl
[link] - Pluto

EDIT: I forgot to finish drawing Pluto's hair. >.< Rescanned with that, as well as a couple little Beryl-neck adjustments at the advice of MizzDestiny

Comments


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:iconmizzdestiny:
~Mizzdestiny Aug 1, 2009, 7:22:30 PM
:wave: here from ToT. For Beryl, her neck seems kind of thick. I *think* it might be that her right shoulder is too high. Nothing else jumps out at me. :shrug:

I keep hearing about this duet today. It might be time to watch Sera Myu :D

--
"Courage isn't just a matter of not being afraid. It's being afraid and doing what you have to do anyway."
:iconenkai:
*Enkai Aug 1, 2009, 7:47:49 PM
Thanks for the comment! :heart: I messed around with the neck a bit; I'm not sure if it's so much the right shoulder being too high (considering the stock pose I used), but that choker is problematic, as well as her hair covering the other side of the neck. I messed with it a little, does that help?

Other than that, I'm hoping that adding color will help with better defining the dimension. Shading helps that. ^^
:iconmizzdestiny:
~Mizzdestiny Aug 1, 2009, 7:55:05 PM
:nod: I think that looks better. It's crazy how adding one little line makes something look like it's at a completely different angle.

--
"Courage isn't just a matter of not being afraid. It's being afraid and doing what you have to do anyway."
:iconpurenightshade:
*purenightshade Aug 1, 2009, 8:46:48 PM
I actually just finished a Beryl image myself and I noticed a couple things. First of all, her arm band is on the wrong arm. She has a bracelet on that wrist (with a horn coming out of it like the ones on her shoulders).

Unless, of course, you're referencing her costume from a non-anime source (which is where I'm getting my info from).

--
Comission me!
K.net
:iconenkai:
*Enkai Aug 1, 2009, 9:44:18 PM
Yeah, non-anime; I'm doing myu versions of both Pluto and Beryl.

[link]
:iconenkai:
*Enkai Aug 1, 2009, 9:52:58 PM
Hmm...interesting; I tracked down some screenshots (don't have my Eien Densetsu DVD with me), and it looks like the armband was on the wrong one for that image (or the image was flipped). No bracelet though. Hmm...might have to change that. You won't be able to see the gem on the armband if I do, though! T.T

Thanks for bringing that to my attention.
:iconjetster77:
~Jetster77 Aug 3, 2009, 11:13:03 PM
Beaaaautiful lines and composition! The only thing I would change in Pluto's left hand (the one behind Beryl's head). It looks like it's not interacting with the piece, and puts Pluto in a weird spot if you look at it long enough (like me because I'm weird). I would perhaps move it so she's doing something like stroking the top or side of Beryl's hair, Or even add a few strands of Beryl's hair entangled on her hand. It would just add an extra layer of closeness between them that I think is missing from this piece.

Expressions are nice! Maybe closing over Pluto's eyes a little bit more will soften her expression just a little bit extra? Widening Beryl's eyes so you can see the whole iris will add some desperation to her as well.

Clothing is AWESOME. You've always managed to take that in your stride! I'm not big on knowing much about Myu costume details, but they do look really nice (and clean lines... Lovely clean lines :drool:)

Otherwise, it is really pretty and I hope you colour it!
:iconandimccloud:
~andimccloud Aug 4, 2009, 8:50:41 AM
Woooooo that looks awesome so far. *_*; Also I have nothing to add to the critique, on account of other people already got the things I would have pointed out. I can't wait to see this in color though, it's going to look FAB. :D

--
"Comments are forgotten, but favorites last forever.

So stfu."

=Jateshi
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